Your best defense against thieves when you're on vacation is to create the illusion of activity in your home.
That's why I employ a fleet of a dozen of those new robotic artificial-intelligence vacuum cleaners, jam upright broomsticks into their bases, put a wig and coat hanger at the top of each, hang six tuxedos and six evening gowns, then BOOM: scarecrows. I set my vacuum-motion to "random" and blast Yanni music. Your would-be thief peeks in the window, sees your ballroom scenario, thinks "YANNI COTILLION!," either (a) flees, or (b) joins the party, forgets to rob you, maybe pulls down a little broom-handle-spined robot-Hoover tang. Everybody's happy.
Except maybe your cats, who studies show HATE Yanni's music. They love Yanni; just not his jams.
