I took my niece Sausagella and her brother Dominic camping last spring, and I brought Easter Peeps marshmallow chicks and skewered them so the kids could roast 'em over the fire. And I had my buddy Ernie hide behind my pickup truck and throw his voice so it sounded like the Peeps were Joan of Arc ... "Nooooooooooo! Nooooooo! I'm stabbed and buuuuuuuuuuuuurning! I'm dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyying! Peeeeeeeep! Peeeeeeeeeep! PEEP PEEP PEEP!!!!!" to indicate the suffering and the sacrifice of death that's necessary before we can have bunnies and new life and a risen Christ.
Sure, the message is pretty confusing, especially since Sausagella and Dominic were crying hysterically at this point and Ernie slammed his thumb in the passenger door of my Dodge and was crying even louder than the kids were.
But I think they learned an important lesson. Sin always ends in hell fire.
Oh I forgot to tell you something important about how I made it all a morality lesson. Before all this happened I staged a little puppet-show scene in which the Peeps chicks had premarital sex, which was why they had to pay.
So yeah. I guess I'm a natural teacher.
